Tell Your Story!

The public debate over choice versus life is a dangerous misrepresentation of the very real struggle that millions of women face every day to maintain sovereignty over their own bodies. There is an insidious notion that persists which asserts that anyone who chooses abortion must not value human life or comprehend the true responsibility of sexual maturity. Both of these assumptions are wrong. Both of these assumptions hurt women (and not just women, but people of all genders who believe that their sex lives are not up for legal designation according to the current political climate), and both of these assumptions undermine our struggle for equality and personal autonomy. Both of these assumptions work off of the premise that female bodies and the brains which control them are ill equipped to grasp the consequences of a life in the murky waters between lifestyle and risk management. This is not true.

I got pregnant when I was 15 years old. It was an accident. The majority of pregnancies are accidents whether they result in live births or not. I knew immediately that I was not prepared to be a mother. I knew it would ruin my life. I knew I wasn’t stable and that the chaos that having a child would bring would destroy any hope I had of realizing the goals I had set out for myself. I had an abortion. I don’t regret it. I decided to save my own life.

This is not a perspective that is often discussed in anti-choice rhetoric. There is a lot of emotion spent on the potential life of the unborn fetus, but none whatsoever spilled for the actual life of the very real people who would be affected by this potential life. Why is my life, the one that stands to suffer deeply for an unfortunate mishap of chemistry, any less important than the life of a fetus which has no community, no dreams, no goals, no accomplishments, no existence to speak of. Why is a potential life more important than my actual life?

We hear a lot that women must “pay the consequences” for having the audacity to experience a sex life that is independent of any desire to reproduce. Women who get pregnant under unfortunate or unintended circumstances should be expected to accept their mistakes and live with the consequences. The men who impregnate them though have already been vaccinated for this strain of accountability. There is precious little consideration given to the fact that abortion is a consequence. I have never met a woman who skipped gleefully into her abortion procedure and came merrily out the other side on a bed of rainbows. My abortion was physically and emotionally traumatic and I deeply regretted that I had to decide to receive one. However, I do not in any way regret actually having the abortion. The circumstances were unfortunate and I could not have been failed any more spectacularly than I was by the abstinence only sex education I received in my public high school, but I am fortunate that I was able to choose to maintain control over my body, my life, and my destiny.

It is within this context that I would like to ask for submissions for an ongoing compilation zine and website devoted exclusively to first hand accounts of abortion experiences. I would like submissions from anyone of any gender, age, ethnicity, orientation or background who would like their story told. The pro-choice debate has reached a household level, but we still hear remarkably few stories from the individuals who actually elect to have them. There is still a stigma against women who have exercised their right to choose and have come down on the side of abortion. I want to change this perception. I am looking for submissions of essays, poetry, music, illustration, photos etc that tell your story. It’s your narrative, take it back from the people who want to make you ashamed. Take it back from the esoteric world of public discourse and bring it back into reality. The one we live in every day, where we should not expect to be ashamed of ourselves, but empowered and supported and cared for as stewards of the world we all must share. As harbors of life that we can choose to foster on our own terms, for our own sake.

I am not just looking for submissions from women, but from partners, friends, doctors, DIY/home providers, family members, anyone with first hand experience that they need to share. My intent is for this to be both cathartic and validating for the contributors and educational and empowering for the readers. I will print every submission I receive and post them all here. I will be monitoring comments heavily to ensure that any dialogue is productive and relevant and does not contribute to the shaming of women, their bodies, or their sex lives, or the hateful derision of any contributor based on their gender, orientation or identity.

The first deadline for submissions is Saturday, April 23rd, 2011 and the first anthology will be released in May. Submissions can be sent to a confidential account, ourstotell@gmail.com. I will include or omit any personal information as stipulated by you so please let me know how you would like your work to be credited. I will not, under any circumstances, hand out the personal information of any contributors to any person for any reason. I hold your safety in the highest regard and will not save or distribute any information you may provide to me that exceeds that which you agree to have published.

Please contact me here or at ourstotell@gmail.com for more information.
It’s your story, tell it how you want it told!